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#39 Glasses

Posted March 19th, 2008 by Shaun · 44 Comments

Yes, that suspicion you had was true: Asians are nerds. Asians also squint a lot (That’s why they have slanted eyes). Combine those 3 common characteristics: nerdy, squinty, slanty; and you have the reason that so many asians wear glasses (including yours truly).

Okay, okay… so not all Asians are short-sighted or far-sighted, and one could argue that quite a few Asians try to hide or amend their shortcomings with fashion-savvy alternatives to vision correction such as contact lenses or laser eye surgery. But let’s face it: Asians are not the most fashion-savvy people in the world. The concept of fashion trends was created by the white man, namely the French. Asians believe their duty as Asians is to be non-conformist when it comes to contact lenses and buck the trend towards laser eye surgery. Therefore, the only logical solutions are glasses or spectacles.

Asians remember a more innocent time: When their mothers told them off for sitting too close to the television. Or perhaps it was from playing too many computer games. I mean, just look at Post #15, god knows Asians love their video games. Regardless, Asian parents constantly warn their children that all those colorful, flashing images jumping around inches from their eyeballs will mess up their future vision capabilities. Asian parents’ teachings are always vindicated at the onset of puberty.

It’s been scientifically proven that glasses lower attractiveness level tenfold (Asian males are a living testament to this). Yes, glasses allow Asians to pursue their love of #3 ““ academia more successfully, but that darn accessory immediately decreases an Asian male’s attractiveness to the other sex. (Yes white women, I’m looking your way). But asian ladies fear not: glasses merely give them that “˜sexy librarian’ look (or at least the Asian equivalent). As the guys on “˜Stuff White People Like’ can attest to (as per #12 on that list), asians will always appear attractive to white guys, so at least they always have that! So in effect, glasses are a hindrance to one Asian gender, but a benefit to the other. (Gender equality, you gotta love it!)

What it all boils down to in the end is genetics. Those slanty Asian eyes don’t quite operate as they should. That’s why Asians love anime: Characters usually have mesmerizing, huge, and doughy eyes. It’s an Asian desire to have eyes comparable to their beloved anime characters. As this dream cannot be realized in real life (not even by plastic surgery - *cough*Michael Jackson*cough*), asians have to live with the reality of their ”inferior” eyes. Mother Nature doesn’t, unfortunately, favor asians.

So, to the Asian guys and girls who proudly don chunks of rim and metal around their eyes, I pose these questions:

Guys, do you wanna end up looking like this glasses-wearing man?

(Dalai Lama)

Girls, do you want to follow in the footsteps of this groovy spec-eyed chick?

(Yoko Ono)

Whatever the choice, you can satisfy yourself with the fact that you’ll either be able to reach spiritual enlightenment or marry a white guy that will revolutionize music. That is, if you’re an Asian that wears glasses“¦

Last 5 posts by Shaun

Tags: Activities · Anime · Comedy · Habits · History · People · Products · Social · Tidbits

44 responses so far ↓

  • 1 YASPY Chick // Mar 19, 2008 at 5:46 am

    That’s why I’ve been wearing contacts since I was like 13 years old! Glasses have only been cool in the past two or three years, and only if you wear those Tina Fey glasses.

  • 2 White Girl // Mar 19, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    [Note to commenter: We have a constructive commenting policy. Therefore certain words like "this sucks" will turn into "this vacuums" or "this is lame" to "this is armor"]
    Things this Asian person likes – ripping off funny websites and making them ARMOR.

  • 3 Loki // Mar 19, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Asians are not the most fashion-savvy people in the world. <– I disagree on this!

  • 4 Shaun // Mar 19, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    YASPY – Good call on the Tina Fey glasses. I reckon she embodies that ‘sexy librarian’ look. Ahh Tina, if only you were Asian and like 18 years younger :)

    White Girl – Contructive commenting or not, I’m not really sure what you talking about. I’m pretty sure the editor ran through the article with a fine comb to pick out the weeds :) Or maybe it’s bitterness to that (semi) insulting not to white girls… I’m sure no insult was intended :)

    Loki – Well I wouldn’t say that Asians are the LEAST fashion-savvy people in the world. But surely, we can’t compare to the fashions of people like the French. I don’t mean to be rude, but look at Korean or Japanese fashion trends, everyone looks the same, what with the dark bangs and spiked hair and similar clothing to one another… We also seem to enjoy the bowl haircut, with all it’s merits, fashionable it is not, as per #4…

  • 5 Sam // Mar 19, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    That’s two consecutive postings bashing Asian men and flattering Asian women. Three if you count the Bruce Lee post. What’s with you people? Black people look after their own (sortof, more so than Asians anyway), Latino people even more so, Indians, yes. I’ve never seen a race that bashes its own like Asian women. What’s your problem? What have Asian men done to you? If you had traumatic childhoods at the hands of oppressive fathers, go seek therapy and work out your issues. Don’t take it out on people you don’t know. If this blog is by Asian people who are proud to be Asian, then you should let up on the bashing Asian men thing. btw, the white people site is better in terms of satire. I dislike this blog and don’t find it funny (and I’m not even talking about the gender-related posts.) At the white people blog, it’s like, “OMG, this is hilarious, you just described me!” This just perpetuates stereotypes started by whites when the first Chinese came to the West Coast.

    btw, I am an Asian guy. In response to #38, I paint the toe nails of my girlfriend. I hold her hand. I give her back rubs. I put my arm around her in public. I call her sweetheart. I keep her company when she wants to stop for some food and I’m not at all hungry but I will sit with her.

    Re: #39, I am a graphic designer. I wear chunky black plastic glasses from a Japanese designer and alot of (white) women compliment me on them. Apparently my attractivenes not only does not decrease “tenfold” as you say, but actually increases.

    Re: #33, the “I might have a bowl haircut, wire-frame glasses, and letter in debate and math team instead of football, I could have been one of the most feared men in the world.” ending of the Bruce Lee post–

    Immigrant boys had bowl haircuts (and the girls, too.) Asian-American kids are less likely. My sister and her husband, American borb, have a boy and he’s never had a bowlcut. Bowlcuts are becoming a thing of the past. Also, wire-frame glasses are cool. I know Asian and white architects and investment bankers who wear them. The I-Banking friend has glasses from Matsuda, I think. They cost more than my rent and he wears Armani and Hugo Boss suits. And the young kids in Shibuya, Harajuku, and Aoyama, Tokyo and Hong Kong are very stylish and cool.

    Also, guys who excel in debate probably end up going to law school and becoming corporate lawyers. The mathematicians go on to become economists, physicists, or bankers. Women like men with good careers.

    In high school I had an Asian buddy. He was very nerdy, didn’t dress very well, no sex appeal, thick glasses. Yeah, so he fit the stereotype. One day a white Italian kid was making fun of his nerdiness. Another white guy–and I give him kudos for sticking up for my Asian friend–said, “Yeah, but one day he’s going to be a doctor and you’re going to be driving a bus.” We were all (sortof) friends so we all laughed it off.

    I’d rather be me than a white guy any day of the week. Unless it’s Bono. He’s probably the one white guy that I would be glad to switch lives with.

  • 6 Shaun // Mar 19, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Haha Sam, I’m pretty sure the writer of this blog is actually a male *wink*…

    Besides dude, you’ve gotta embrace the “stereotypes” as you call them. It’s all in good fun, and let me assure you it isn’t ‘Asian male bashing’ but more in the vein of ‘self-depreciation’. Hope you understand, we’re not targeting anyone in particular, everyone’s fair game :)

    The white people blog is great but they tend to lean towards things that everyone (regardless of race) like. I couldn’t agree more with the majority of their posts, and I’m fully Asian.

    Anyway, if you don’t like the blog then don’t read, simple. Just because it doesn’t describe you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t relate to anyone…

  • 7 Pipi // Mar 20, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    No picture of Kim Jong Il? I understand that most of the pics posted were of people who wear regular eyeglasses and not sunglasses, but come on! Kim Jong Il should have been there, you’re making him rearry ronery.

  • 8 #39 Glasses | Easy Eye Surgery // Mar 23, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    [...] Original post by sy88 [...]

  • 9 Soph // Apr 15, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Dude, don’t bash on the Dalai Lama. He’s one of the most admirable people in the world. Please respect him.

  • 10 WOw.. // Apr 29, 2008 at 8:59 am

    You are soo wrong… Korean and Japan leads the world on fashion. White people copy asian style like 5 years after we do it and then call it their own.

  • 11 duh // Jun 8, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    This is such a narrow blog… as with so many of them.. It’s blogs like this that enforce the stereotypes.. take an ethic studies class and step out of the scope.

  • 12 Pat // Jun 9, 2008 at 1:44 am

    I’m an Chinese female. For your information, I am thrilled by the aspect of an Asian guy with glasses. I think they look so good with them!

  • 13 Yo // Jun 29, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Um hm.
    So who copied the asian hairstyles?
    White people.
    Go eat your Mc Donalds and get fat.
    While we asians laugh at your country for your obesity rate.
    Plus asian clothing style’s beat your gay looking american eagle, hollister, and abercrombie.
    You look like hobo’s wearing thoes kinds of things.

  • 14 A // Jul 3, 2008 at 2:05 am

    I’m a designer, Japan and Hong Kong are both within the top countries in Fashion.

    All countries copy each other in fashion, that’s how the industry works. No one invented it.

    You clearly have very limited knowledge on this subject. You cannot be satirical nor funny, when you have no knowledge on something.

    Look at top designers like Akira Isogawa, one of Australia’s most honoured fashion designers, or Lisa Ho.

    The reason why the other site about White people is funny, is because the writer KNOWS his/her topics very well. You on the other hand…

    Take this message constructively if you wish to build this site.

  • 15 Anonymous // Jul 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    Stop being such an obnoxious caucasian and realize that you’re clearly outnumbered. =)

  • 16 KIRA // Aug 16, 2008 at 6:05 pm


  • 17 KIRA // Aug 16, 2008 at 6:11 pm


  • 18 Pointless // Sep 16, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    I disagree on some of the points. I agree that Asians are nerds.. They are smart… That is how they are raised… I am raised like that. However, wearing glass is of nothing of your concern. I find some of the fact quite offensive, in my case. Technology, Japan had contributed many advanced ideas. Sure, we are nerds… but you won’t see us copying ‘white’ people when it comes to fashion. Personally, every time I would go to the mall with my friends, I would see ‘white’ people dressing like an Asian… *sigh* most can’t pull them off. The article appears to be very biased, stereotypical, and racist. Next time, watch out with the words you choose to use for everyone to see.

  • 19 Alex // Sep 23, 2008 at 10:51 am

    Asian people are funky! Where I live asians are pretty fashionable!

  • 20 nevetS // Oct 5, 2008 at 1:14 am

    I’m an Asian Male, 6ft tall,170LBS muscle, I play sports,stylish, and i can date any race girl i want..
    And i don’t look like a Nerd. When do i wear glasses, i look like Joe odagiri.Google him.

    pshh.please..RACIST & SEXIST POST. WOW…

    This article is purely RACIST in the fact that its implementing any asian reader automatically assumes Asian Norms are inferior versus Caucasian norms. False..

    FACT: “Majority”of asians prefer their own : styles,pop culture, and fashion. & majority, even when they admire White celebs, will rarely consider a foreigner for romance.
    I think most will agree with me here.
    (I’m part of the minority who does date outside race,but i don’t exclude asian women,I like em just as much)

    This post is a passive aggressive attack on the asian race.

    Imagine an African-American poster writes”Black skin isn’t the same as lighter skin, but for women, its just less apealing but for men its SUPER”!! Gotta love gender equality! GOD just gave Africans the short end of the stick on skin!!

  • 21 Wei Li Chan // Feb 21, 2009 at 8:00 am

    What I really enjoy is learning proper English and Canadian culture from a great tutor.

  • 22 Richard Lim // Feb 26, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Dats total bullshit.
    Well I look awesum at least.
    Just find the right pairs of glasses and if it costs over 200 dollars flipin save 4 it becuz in da long run I rather pay for quality than becuz it was “cheap”. You pay what U get 4!!!

  • 23 IrishLottoResults // Apr 27, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    I use mine with pride!

  • 24 Lisa // Jun 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    I wore glasses when i was 7 and have not looked back except to study all the time. academics rule and hello kitty too.!!!

  • 25 Carrie // Jul 25, 2009 at 2:07 am

    Great use your power to perpetuate stereotypes because they really make the world a better place for everyone.

  • 26 Oh hello there // Jul 30, 2009 at 12:05 am

    THis is either a white guy pretending to be asian to make himself look better. Or a sad asian guy who just basically describing himself.

  • 27 J // Aug 4, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Hey, nothing wrong with wearing glasses. Glasses are cool! Harry Potter wears them and so does Spiderman.

  • 28 hellomellow // Aug 21, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    I’m Chinese and I’ve been wearing glasses everyday since the age of 8! Glasses are awesome on Asian guys and girls, as long as you have the right pair…

    I think a lot of Asian people end up in the dorky wire frames is that plastic ones typically don’t have nose pad thingies that are adjustable- since Asian nose bridges are often lower the plastic frames end up sitting weirdly on your face and sliding down your nose, thus the wire rimes make more sense.

  • 29 Roxzane // Aug 24, 2009 at 2:26 am

    I’m glad I don’t have glasses, I have 20/20 vision though it amazes me since I basically live by the computer XD And glasses suck when your eating something steamy like Ramen :P (Not trying to be mean ^^)

  • 30 momo // Sep 3, 2009 at 8:37 am

    you turned me off to your article right away, Asians also squint a lot (That’s why they have slanted eyes). What is your evidence for this?? This is not true. I think your an idiot, you are ridiculus. I am asian and offened by your stereotypical comment. Dont ever write again. Thanks

  • 31 KR // Feb 11, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Asians not fashionable. I have no idea waht century you live in. There are probably hundreds of fashion magazines from asia or written by asians. If you go to the more affluent cities in asia e.g. tokyo you can see jsut how fashionable asians can be. Also, slanted eyes are a genetic trait, not due to studying or reading alot. Also, i notice alot of these posts say asians are nerds ‘cos they study alot. You dont need to insult as just because you feel small when comparing test results

  • 32 LOL // Jul 30, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    I can make white looks nerdy and boring too given that I am using your way of researching. I bet the author has not been to any of the Asia’s countries or must have a very poor eyesight of only seeing the wrong stuff.

  • 33 HD // Jul 30, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    But… but… I think glasses look really nice on guys. Especially guys.

  • 34 Anonymous // Jul 31, 2010 at 11:48 am

    I am quite disappointed at this post, in particular the line calling Asian eyes “inferior”. While this blog has had some amusing and enjoyable posts before, I did not start reading this one expecting to see the same sort of subtle or not so subtle bashing against Asian males, by reinforcing bad stereotypes. Come on, we have Hollywood and basically the vast majority of American media for that!

    If even individual bloggers repeat and reinforce the one sided portrayal of Asians that the media does, then truly, the populace has been brainwashed and the Asian children will grow up wishing they weren’t Asian — after all, everything they grow up seeing about Asians is that they are just for comic relief or ridicule.

  • 35 em // Sep 3, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    i am quite offended by this
    i mean like i have glasses yet my eyes are bigger when i dont have them on!!

  • 36 Eva L // Mar 4, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Strange enough, my eyes get bigger when I take my glasses off. I try not to squint and I have pretty big eyes for an Asian.

  • 37 Anon. // Jul 25, 2011 at 12:55 am

    I’ve started wearing glasses ever since I was around 3 years old (genetics + reading + living next to a computer), and I feel absolutely fine with wearing them.
    I don’t exactly feel that big/small eyes make that much of a difference (Sun FeiFei).

    It really bugs me that there are so many opinions written as if they are fact. For example, I know that some Asians may not look their best with glasses on, but I do believe that there are very attractive people out there with dark-framed glasses…

  • 38 komerican_chick94 // Aug 2, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    Excuse me? How could you even dare say that “Asians arent the most fashion-savvy people in the world?” Screw you, Shaun

  • 39 komerican_chick94 // Aug 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    How are we inferior to fashion? The Asians I see in my school create amazing ideas for their outfits. Unlike the other Asians who dress more poorly, one can assume that they cannot afford clothes such as said beautiful Asians. Not all of us dress like shit >:/

  • 40 komerican_chick94 // Aug 2, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Thumbs up for Anonymous on the 34th comment btw

  • 41 Nathan Chen // Aug 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    You are so fucking racist!!! What the hell is your problem. You obviously got all your information from stereotypes and you are uneducated about this topic. Do your research motherfucker!!

  • 42 Jack Wilson // Aug 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Whoever did this site, you are so racist. Don’t make fun of them because when they become the top economy in the world, you will respect them. They are hands-down THE smartest, wisest, and fashion/tech savvy people that have ever existed. Most of the cars in North America are from Japan. Their education system beats ours by so much. They have way more discipline and respect so show some to them. They are also people not aliens. And plus you can make so many more jokes about Americans than you can make about Asians.

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