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#106 Talking at the Worst Times

Posted January 12th, 2009 by Peter · 17 Comments

If you’re asian, and you have asian parents (which most asians do), you know this all too well. Whether you’re at the movies or with your friends, it’s probably an Asian sitting behind you yelping and conversing while Will Smith, in Seven Pounds, is about to stick his hand into a tube of.. (well, I can’t tell you.. it’ll ruin the movie). But that’s nearly always the case. Asians were born with it. They eat, sleep and breath loudly (and at the wrong times). Here’s why they do it at the wrong times:

amc12Yes, it’s an elephant drive-through..

Let’s methodically dissect this situation. In more developed Asian countries, and even the not so developed countries, there is a great need for transportation. The preferred choice is usually by motorbike, a loud and rowdy way to tell the world, “I’m gonna get me some Pho.” Looking back at Post 32 (Speaking Loudly), Asians speak loudly because it’s in their culture. They have to do it because a majority of the world is Asian. In Asia, Restaurants, buses, and other public places are crowded to full capacity (and sometimes, even more…) How is one supposed to have their voice heard?

Furthermore, what kind of mentality does that create? “Oh, everyone’s talking… there’s too much noise for anyone to hear what I’m saying anyway.” That works in Asia, but when the habit is brought to more quiet and serene cultures (like in America), it is immediately ridiculed.

Here’s a post from “Rants from an Asian” that seems to explain why Asians like yelling and speaking at the worst times:

For some reason when my family talks in Chinese they fricking YELL IN MY EAR. I don’t know whats’ up with them but every Chinese person I see has to talk in Chinese so loud. So I’ve developed a secret word to silence them……..

SHUT UP!bada-bowl41

Just kidding if I did that well, let’s say I wouldn’t be posting anymore. So my I’ve complied a list of why Asians talk so loud……

  • Our bowl shaped haircuts cover our ears blocking out all sounds so we have a need to shout!
  • The small Asians eyes that block our sight make it seem like the person we’re talking to is far away so we shout.
  • After being so quiet with everyone we feel the need to yell at people to let out all the excess Asian voices.
  • Cause we can.
  • As children being yelled at for getting an A and not an A+ we feel the need to yell at others to let out our anger and cause Yelling is fun.

As you can see, there are many things Asians have to worry about: being heard in a crowd, their kids not achieving their highest potential, bowl cuts cutting off the sound to their ears, and because we can. And that, my friends, is something that anybody in any culture can use as an excuse for doing anything.

Okay… that would have been a bad ending, but everything said was pretty explanatory. In America, a Movie Theater might be half full on an opening day because of the many means that people can use to watch them (we do not condone them in any way). In other countries, however, these movie theaters are place to go. In Spain, “el cine,” is full of young people at any given time. In Vietnam, taking a friend to “rạp xi nê,” is a very good way to tell them that you love them. To get the lowdown on you-are-a-piratethe popularity of paid movie exhibitions, I went straight to the source, my father. He said that back in his day, it was customary take his girlfriend (my mom) to the local cinema for a date. That was over 20 years ago.

In today’s society, however, that’s long gone. As more and more pirated movies get released on the web, people feel less inclined to pay the exhibition price simply because they can watch it on their computers at any time (sometimes before the movie even comes out, and it’s in dvd quality). But alas, I digress again. Asians still love cinema. They still love the feeling of surround sound speakers blasting in their ears, actors blown to 100s of times their size, the smell of freshly popped kettle corn, and the nostalgic feel of being with your girlfriend and watching Jackie Chan kick ass in 1980. Yep… Asians may speak loudly at the wrong times, but it may just be because they’re so used to being ignored. Living in a society where overpopulation is the norm will do that to ya.

Peace Out!
Peter Nguyen.

Last 5 posts by Peter

Tags: Activities · Automobiles · Culture · Customs · Environment · Famous · Films and Movies · Food & Beverage · History · People · Products · Relationships · T.V. · Vietnamese

17 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Trader // Jan 13, 2009 at 6:21 am

    I’m Spanish and what you said is very true. I think that the reason why so many people go to the movies here in Spain is that we haven’t adopted the “mall” culture yet and when we just want to hang out the easiest and best place is a local cluster of shops and such that is almost exclusively gathered around a movie theatre.

  • 2 Ellou // Jan 13, 2009 at 11:34 am

    I’ve been reading the posts here and I keep encountering the common problems and habits of Asians. Most and actually maybe all of the comments about Asians, seem to me, refer to Chinese, Koreans, maybe Japanese… Yes, they are asians but they aren’t the only Asians. South-east Asians are Asian too(Cambodia, Myanmar, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam-well, they’re similar to chinese, etc) But the case is we don’t have small eyes, slurp, or whatever… Chinese are Asians but Asians are not only Chinese. Oh, I’m Cambodian. So stop referring to us as though we are all the same!

  • 3 Peter // Jan 13, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    You’re very correct, Ellou. I’m vietnamese myself, and my eyes are very far from small.



  • 4 dbals // Jan 14, 2009 at 11:50 am

    “… maybe all of the comments about Asians, seem to me, refer to Chinese, Koreans, maybe Japanese… Yes, they are asians but they aren’t the only Asians. South-east Asians are Asian too(Cambodia, Myanmar, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam-well, they’re similar to chinese, etc)… ”

    well said Ellou…mmm I think you have missed something. OMG! You have missed the 1.5 billion population in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Srilanka etc. Probably you didn’t know we’re in asia too.

  • 5 Will // Jan 16, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    True that. I think I’ve grown fond of the loud Asian restaurant phenomenon though.

    I’ll take a dirty loud chinese restaurant over P.F. Chang anyday.

  • 6 degenerasian // Jan 17, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Vietnamese don’t talk that loudly in public. Always wait for non-vietnamese people to leave before we talk. At work Mandarin speakers just talk loudly regardless of people around them. Especially in elevators!

  • 7 Anonymous // Jan 24, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    asians are only quiet when they cannot communicate in their native tongue or the occassion is solemn (funeral, attending church or temple). but as far as being amongst non asians and being quiet, not true. everyday i get embarrassed on the bus, because 2 chinese people are screaming at each other even though they are sitting next to each other and the bus is quiet. every graduation i’ve been to, i’ve had to shush my relatives as they like to talk when someone is giving a speech.

  • 8 theasianscreamer // Feb 13, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    this is hilarious!…and totally describes my character (i’m asian) XD I cracked up when you talked about the “Oh, everyone’s talking…there’s too much noise for anyone to hear what I’m saying anyway.” mentality because I always say that to my friends whenever I accidentally blurt out something bad >.< and I definitely agree w/ the “after being so quiet w/ everyone, we feel the need to yell at people to let out all the excess Asian voices.” explanation b/c during class when I try to explain myself in front of tons of ppl, I get all shy and quiet…but if you see me w/ my friends its crazy…they even call me the “Asian-Screamer” cause apparently I “Asian-Scream” a lot… personally I think of it more as “expressing myself” :]
    -so I loved your post Peter, you can post more, so I can read more and laugh myself to tears again :D

  • 9 theasianscreamer // Feb 13, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    I thought your post was hilarious Peter; hope you will post more :]

  • 10 blissfulting // Feb 17, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    I just have to say that I loved Seven Pounds. Will Smith is such a BAMF. oh, and I love pho noodles too! Though I’m not Vietnamese. Straight up Chinese here, haha.

    Oh, btw, is it an Asian characteristic that everytime you see something familiar that’s written, in a video, etc., you MUST point it out. regardless of whether you hold a good opinion of it or not, though most of the time, it’s when you “love” it. Perfect example: first paragraph of this reply xD

    haha i’m right there with ya! not to mention that P.F. Chang’s comparable-to-house-mortgages-prices aren’t exactly desirable…

    * cough, box jellyfish, cough. haha i’m a dork.

  • 11 Moroness // Mar 27, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Ellou, are you saying that Chinese people have small eyes? Ahahaha. You’re so cute. Trying to falsify a generalization with another generalization. Ever been to China hm? I guess not :)

  • 12 cc // Sep 15, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    this id funny
    My girlfriend is Laotian and she was talking about how loud chinese people are and then when i told her she and her family was loud to she was in denial. I dont know if they don’t think they are being loud, but how can u notice someone else’s loudness and not you own?

  • 13 ladida // Nov 7, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    I’ve noticed that people from China are the loudest. My neighbours are from China and I fighting the other day and she was saying you want me to die? I go and die tomorrow! I’ll die for you to see! and blah blah blah. And of course nothing happens coz she’s just being a drama queen. I wonder if she’ll get embarrass if I yell out to her if she wants me to get the cops. Geez….
    And when I was at the bus stop, this group of China students were talking very loudly. The girl was squealing and then starting yelling across the road to her friends.
    And on the bus, this China woman who sat beside me decided to talk on her mobile for the whole trip and it was necessary to talk very loudly too. JUST SHUP UP!!!! Nobody wants to hear all your yelling, squealing or everything about your life! Why can’t you talk softly? Do you just want to attract attention to yourself because you feel so insignificant as a person?!!!! Just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

  • 14 KR // Feb 12, 2010 at 12:42 am

    i haven’t seen a bowl cut in like 10 years. then again i ‘m only 18.Also, i’ve been to America. it is NOT serene.
    Also a roaring motorbike does not mean they want pho. these days its most likely, ineed to make more money or look at my new bike

  • 15 juicy couture // Jan 16, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    I think it is rather easy to see from the other comments as well that this post is well written and useful.

  • 16 DK // Feb 23, 2011 at 11:18 am

    this is so not true, I live in Toronto, and every time I go to movies, its always the white kids talking and snuggling in the back row.

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